Some time ago I posted about the benefits of pretend polygamy. Basically, it's the idea that you could have multiple spouses that serve multiple purposes and you don't have any of the real-life moral, legal or emotional problems. It would be ideal. You can read my original post on pretend polygamy here.
Unfortunately, even fantasies can be flawed and can disappoint. One of my pretend husbands was Ashton Kutcher. I pretend married him for a variety of reasons, one of which was that he was my "fun" spouse. As it turns out, Ashton committed the one cardinal sin of pretend husbands: he demonstrated he is human and destroyed my the fantasy. It's time for a pretend divorce.
Having a hole in my pretend repertoire of relationships got me thinking. Who should take his place? I wanted someone about the same age (because all of my other pretend husbands are around my age - I need some younger blood!), and a hot body is kind of a prerequisite if we're talking about fantasy. Duh - Ryan Reynolds. So I have decided to replace the disappointing Ashton with the smokin' hot Ryan:
Ryan, sweet Ryan, will you please, with cherries on top, marry me?
I, Wendy, take you Ryan Reynolds, to be my pretend husband,
To have and to hold from this day forward, in my fantasies,
Only for better, never for worse, for richer and poorer,
In sickness and in health, to love and support by seeing all of your movies,
Until my disinterest do we part.
Ryan will play the role of my boy toy to do with as I please. He will love and honor me, for as long as I want. 'Nuff said.