Two or More Times A Week?

Get your mind out of the gutter. 

Confession time.  I do not cook.  I never saw much point in it when I was single.  When I was married, I cooked nearly every night but it was basic, quick meals and absolutely nothing fancy.  The Ex is one of those guys who was just happy to have someone prepare food for him, no matter what it was, so he would eat almost anything.  Almost.  He was really grateful when something was actually good, but trust me ... I have made more than my fair share of totally inedible meals.  It is an understatement to say I'm not a very good cook.  (But I'm a rock star baker - with a bit of practice I could probably survive a few rounds on Top Chef Just Desserts!)  The home-cooked meals tapered off when the children came along and again as the marriage crumbled.

When The Ex and I split, the kids were so little and eating mostly "baby" food so it seemed futile to cook, and I suffered from depression and lethargy so any excuse not to lift a finger was a good excuse.  Even now, with Sweetie at 8 years and Stinker at 5 years, cooking meals is mostly futile because they are so picky.  Every now and then I get a bug up my rear to cook and invariably those little rats frustrate me with their finicky palates.  ("What if friends come over for dinner?  Do you cook then?  Or on holidays ... surely you cook on holidays?"  N. O. No.  I have cooked two turkeys in my life, and I fed 10 people on Christmas Eve ONCE.)  My contribution at potlucks or family holiday meals is dinner rolls.  (Not really, but practically.)

I'm sure it's no surprise that the busier we get, the less likely I am to cook.  I don't cook when it's hot outside.  I don't cook on Tuesdays because we have cub scouts.  I don't cook on Thursdays because I work nights.  I rarely cook on both Wednesday AND Friday because we have soccer practice (though that is about to end - thank goodness!)  If you're keeping track and can do some very basic math, you can figure out how many times a week I cook.

The boys and I had some errands to run after I picked them up (which is another excuse for me not to cook!).  Sweetie asked if we could eat before we hit the grocery (which is almost torture for my children) so we stopped at a fast food store in the same shopping center as the market.  While waiting for our food, the boys discovered the comment cards and proceeded to fill them out as only children can.  Sweetie can read so he mostly answered the questions asked, one of which was "How often do you eat at fast food restaurants?" and the answers were: less than once a month, about once a month, once a week, or 2 or more times per week.  You see where I'm going ....  Not only did he mark the box for 2 or more times per week, he said - gasp! - "Too bad they don't have a box for 4 times a week.  That's what we need." 

I immediately channeled Daffy Duck:  I say he does have to shoot me now.  So shoot me now.

Honestly, we eat out (or take out) 3 or 4 times a week during the fall, but we don't eat at fast food restaurants very often.  The kids get "fast food" - McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, etc. - probably once every ten days or so (ssshhhhhh ... I know that's too often; hush up, judgie!), but we eat at restaurants and delis.  My kids love sandwiches, so that's a main staple for dinner.  (They eat hot lunches at school and therefore rarely have sandwiches for lunch.)  But, all stories and excuses aside, what a piece-of-poo mother I am that my kid thinks we eat at fast food restaurants more often than we eat at home.

I'll give you one guess what I bought at the grocery store after we finished our dinner.  We will be having spaghetti and meatballs tomorrow (BEFORE cub scouts!) and quesadillas on Wednesday.  They are with their dad Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, and then we will have homemade chicken noodle soup on Sunday night.  It's not much, but it's a start!